Friday, April 3, 2009

To Fart or Not To Fart??!!


So... Rory has always taught our kids to be proud of their farts. The bigger, longer, louder and stinkier the better. I know he only does this because he knows how much I hate farting and how disgusted I get. Rory farts more than anyone I have EVER met in my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!! I grew up with all boys and still I have yet to meet anyone who can keep up with good ol' stinky Leroy! They are the most brutal farts EVER!! There have been times where he will fart in another room or even on a whole different floor of our house and he will fart so loud and long that I thought he just asked me a question or something and I will answer with "What did you say?!" or " Did you call me?!" and he will just laugh. Well, Rory has created quite the little army of farters. Now my kids think it is so cool when they fart! We will be out in public and Chanel will yell out at the top of her lungs "Mommy I just parted!!!" or James will fart when were in line at the store, embarrassing things like this happen on a daily basis for me thanks to Rory! Rory will even fart in an isle at the store and I always feel so sorry for the poor innocent people walking just about 5 ft. behind us. Then just to make it worse Rory will yell out, just loud enough " Honey, did you just fart?!" and so I end up looking like the pig! Long story short, last night after about 100 continuous farts from the kids and having to hear " I farted!!" over and over Rory told the kids that they couldn't do that to mom anymore. He said every time they fart they will have to give me a quarter! I am up to about $10 from each child right now, and they just aren't getting it! I don't blame them, they have been brought up believing that they should LOVE their farts!! Rory has raised some really stinky monsters! And now he thinks he can just flip a switch and they will be more polite farters? No. Not happening. Now the kids are farting and running!! And I'm talking like every 3 minutes!! What do I do? How do I teach them that they really should be more polite about their gas? I told them to go to the potty or just to their room and fart in their own air. I was very serious and explained that other people don't like their farts as much as they do. But I am losing miserably. Now they just fart and smile or run away. I guess that's better than yelling out " I FARTED!!" but really!! This is all Rory's fault!! He did this!! HE NEEDS TO FIX IT!!! UUGHHH!!

3 comments:

Julie said...

Ok. I am laughing my head off!!! Especially because while Rory was helping us move one night he kept letting 'em rip and was trying to blame it on Bubba! :) I'm sure the poor Allen's are wondering what that funky lingering stench is....
Gees, we have a completely different problem. I don't tolerate the farting! And I know it is unrealistic! I grew up with all girls and a Mom and Dad who were VERY proper! So I don't even let Brady do it around me....Alex is hilarious. He is over the top polite. He does it, and before he even finishes, he is saying. "Ooh, excuse me!"
Anyway, I have no clue...cause I know I am ridiculous when it comes to farting. People freak out when I tell them Brady hardly ever farts around me. Poor Brady probably has Gastroenteritis issues now! Well, good luck! And hey, thank heavens for Scentsy to cover it all up! I'll come bring ya some!

bella utahan said...

Charlotte will fit right in! She has some pretty loud and stinky ones- sometimes I think it is Gio!

Unknown said...

That's funny! Good luck!