Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sneek a Peek...

We got our pictures taken on Thursday, here is a little peek at just a few...

Rori Ana was not easy to work with (surprise, surprise) and if Rori ain't happy, nobodies happy! I have to give props to Rachael, she was very patient with all of our little rug rats and she still managed to get some amazing pictures!!





I did a few newborn pictures of Ava. I am really kicking myself for not getting her pictures done right after she was born. There is nothing like a newborn preemie picture!

There's my happy Rori!!


To see some of Rachael's work go to
She is amazing!!





Thursday, August 27, 2009

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 50s 60s 70s & 80s!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day and we were OKAY. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, though we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: 'With hurricanes, tornado's, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

My mom emailed me this and I thought it was kind of funny! So sad how much times have changed, we cant trust anybody because there are to many weirdos out there. Our kids have to grow up in fear of everything because they have been taught not to trust anybody or that they might get in trouble or lost or stolen or sick etc... I think if I knew Rory could make a good living out in the middle of nowhere I would be outta here!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Wowi Nana!! PLEASE!!??

(Wowi Nana is what Chanel calls Rori Ana)
Alright... Rori Ana has got me running in circles like a crazed person right now, and she has for the last month or so. I think she is having a REALLY hard time adjusting to the new baby or something? It could be a little bit of that and just her coming into her terrible 2s a little early?? I haven't noticed any more teeth coming in or trying to, she already got her molars in?? Hell... I don't know!! Let me explain.... She hates me right now. Before the baby all she wanted was mommy, I would just have to look at her and she would light up! Every time it would melt my heart. She would cuddle for hours on end. She wanted to show me everything, play all the time, laugh at anything I did. She was 100% attached to me, all day, everyday. I knew having a baby would change things, like I wouldn't be able to jump when she said jump but, never did I imagine it being this hard. I always heard parents saying their kids were "having a hard time adjusting to the new baby" and I always kind of thought it couldn't be that bad. Its in the parents head or its just that they are having a hard time adjusting to more kids. I take that back!! Rori Ana wont even look at me unless its to give me a dirty look. She wont come to me unless its to hit, scratch, bite or yell at me. If I ask her to come she runs the opposite direction. If she wants something she will come and yell and scream until I figure it out then she just grabs whatever it is and walks off like she is saying "finally, you stupid". She WILL NOT cuddle with me, when I force her to sit with me or if I do pick her up and its not on her terms she screams and pinches etc. And its not just me either, she hates me worse but, she is mean to her sibling too! She hits and kicks Jameson all the time. She is constantly pulling Chanel's hair or pinching her and she has gotten in a few slaps on Ava!! I have to keep Ava OUT OF HER REACH!! I don't dare see what happens if I leave her with Rori!!?? I have gone above and beyond out of my way to give her extra attention. She is getting more attention than anyone else by far! I tried catering to her every whim and I also tried just ignoring it, the screaming and the tantrums. I feel like I am walking on eggshells when shes around! All day I hear whining and screaming coming from her. I don't think I am spoiling her, I have never really been that kind of mother. I KNOW shes not neglected. I am lost. I find that I have started to avoid her now, when she comes around I don't want to look at her because she will get mad at me?! She will start screaming! I try to hold her only to get my ass kicked by a 1 year old (she has literally drawn blood). I feel so awful and guilty for this. In now way to I regret Ava or anything like that but, it makes me wonder if I should have waited a while longer. Did I take Rori's baby life away? Did I make her grow up too fast? How do I fix it??!! Its only been a month or so but I cant continue on. Not only is it driving me completely insane but it is breaking my heart!! I miss my always happy, smiling, laughing, playful little Rori. I used to love waking up and running in her room, we all did. Now she wakes up screaming and demanding and yelling at everyone. I walk in there every morning hoping today would be a better day smiling and singing to her only to be completely shut down by her throwing a total tantrum?? Why? She literally has me in tears everyday because I am so sad to see her this way and because I don't know how to make it better for her. And just to make it worse... I decided I should wean her from her bottle yesterday because I wanted to do it before it got to hard for her to see Ava having her bottles. Right now I will sneak away to feed Ava or if I have to I will prop up the bottle so Rori doesn't see me giving a bottle to Ava and not her. She really hates me now. That was all she had left of her babyhood and I took that away too. If I was smart I would have done it before Ava arrived. But, I didn't and now I am paying for it. She is screaming even worse now. She will not go to bed with out screaming for at least an hour. She is relentless!! So here is my question.... Has anyone ever had this? How do I make her happy again? I feel like I have tried everything but, still she hates me. Do I just wait for it to pass? I am about to take her to a psychiatrist (even though she cant talk). And should I take her bottles away?? I don't want her to be 2 years old with a bottle in her mouth, all the rest of my babies got off of it by 1. Do I just let her scream it out? What am I doing wrong? Any advise would be greatly appreciated!!!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

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Monday, August 17, 2009

Just some fun...

Rory LOVES throwing our kids around, and they love it too only because they don't understand the consequences when they splat on the ground. I on the other hand do not love it so much, it makes me want a zanax.


Ava is doing wonderful, she is very patient with me and her new crazy little family. She doesn't mind the constant barking, yelling, screaming and the occasional slap from Rori Ana. She takes it all really well, as a matter of fact sometimes I can see in her face that she is saying "you all just wait... I will reek havoc on all of your lives as soon as I can!"





She looks so much like Jameson to me!! I have also heard a few say she looks like Rory's grandpa Max?




Chanel and I needed some pampering!! We have been working so hard taking care of our 2 babies! Off the get some pedicures...
Jameson doing what he loves most. Too bad I didn't get the picture of him plowing into Rory's truck right after this shot!!


Again with the zanax...






Here is Chanel and her VERY best friend London. They have dance together and they love it!! Chanel is still having a hard time with balance but, shes even worse at following what the teacher says!! All I hear from outside is "Chanel??? Pay attention! Watch what we do. Can you follow?? Chanel???"







Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Slowly getting it together...

Okay... I am going to apologize for the previous post, you know... the one where I had completely lost it. Yes, that was a very bad day for me. This week has gotten much much better. I am slowly getting everyone's schedules back in order, we are still very busy but it is slowly turning into an organized busy! That last week we brought our baby home from the nicu, started school, started soccer, started dance and it was all just very overwhelming. This week we have a time and a day for everything and so far I haven't messed up too bad. I did drop Jameson off early to school one day and thought he was late so I had him go running into his classroom only to get kicked out onto the playground for another 15 minutes!! Then I thought I had forgotten Rori Ana one day, turns out I just forgot I had put her in the car and I just couldn't see her because she was bent down in her car seat being quiet (I was driving in a traffic jam of kids so I couldn't see her in the back of our suburban). Other than that we have really gotten by without too many bumps in the road. Ava is doing wonderful, she is putting one weight fast and has already grown over an inch. Chanel is loving being a big sister and a big helper. James is all grown up with school. Rory is busy at work. And Rori Ana... She is having a bit of a hard time with it all. She has gotten quite the attitude lately, she is either trying to push or hit Ava away or trying to push, hit, pinch, or bite me! I know its just because she was having so much fun being the baby of the family! But she already seems to be doing better, hopefully she will be over it soon, it has to be a huge adjustment for her. We have even managed to get in quite a bit of boating the past couple of weeks! I think that is the entire family's way of just getting away from it all. When were on the lake we all seem to be stress free and totally happy.













Jameson's BIG day at the BIG school!!


Jameson is a BIG boy now!! He started kindergarten 1 week ago from today and he is doing really well. He really likes his teacher and loves making all sorts of new friends at RECESS! He seems so grown up to me now and he sure does act like it. He has taken on a lot of new responsibilities the past couple of weeks with the new baby and school and homework and we have even started a chore list! It seems like so much for him to handle but he makes it look so easy that it make me believe I can do anything! He is such a wonderful big brother and everything I could ask for in a son. I am so proud of him!! On the first day the parents got to go into the classroom to see where their kids would be sitting and we had to do a few little assignments with them to help make them feel a little bit more at ease with it all. James didn't seem too nervous at all, once again I was the one with the butterflies in my stomach and with all these little worries in my head. At the very end the teacher read a cute but sad little story called The Kissing Hand about a raccoon that was scared to go to school so his mommy kisses his hand so he can hold on to it. By the end of the story all the mothers were teary eyed! Then the teacher had each student get up and say goodbye to their parents, one by one I saw the mothers and some of the kids start to cry, I sat there and thought I was going to be fine! I didn't even feel emotional or anything. I mean I was sad and all to see my baby growing up so fast and couldn't believe we had already hit this big milestone in our lives together but, in no way did I feel like was going to cry or anything like that. Well all of a sudden when Mrs. Bishop called on Jameson and I saw him stand up to say goodbye a floodgate of tears opened!!?? I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet!! Here I thought I was doing fine and so was he and this was going to be so much easier than I had ever imagined and I was COMPLETELY WRONG!! It was like it had just hit me as soon as he stood up that this was it, from here on out come Jr. high, High school and then one day he will be gone at some college somewhere!! I wasn't ready!! This was so much more than just a goodbye, I was saying goodbye to my baby and hello to all these grown up things I wasn't ready for!! He came up and said "goodbye mom, I love you, have a good day". I told him in a very shaky voice that I loved him too and I would have a good day and he will too. Then I told him I was so proud of him and he told me "I'm very proud of you too mom". Of course after that I just burst into tears and had to practically run out of there before I had a total meltdown right there in front of his entire classroom!! I think I was worse than a lot of the parents in there! So much for holding it together.

So he has gotten his first week of school over with without any bumps or complaints. He is doing wonderful and I have gotten used to the idea that my oldest baby is now growing up.





Wednesday, August 5, 2009

We may not have it all together but together we have it all.

How am I ever going to do this? I think I am in waaay over my head. So... This week has been so completely, entirely, absolutely crazy!!! All last week and this week Rory has had to work late so I am at it alone for the first time since little Ava joined our family. I have felt like I am running on fumes, literally. I would go to bed at night and just cry because I would realize I didn't feed Rori Ana lunch or hug James or have time, energy or patience to read a goodnight book etc. Not to mention I would sit there and think what did I eat today? Nothing. And I am waaay too tired to get my butt up to eat now so I will have to wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow would come and I might eat dinner, if I could find the time. Ok. Let me start over, this isn't even making sense now. I feel like if I'm not feeding, burping, changing diapers or just plain trying to figure out what Ava might be fussing over than I am chasing my other 3 from here to high heaven. Last week was the first week Ava really got to be home and I had all 4 kids to myself and I was a mess by about 5 pm. every night. I would just start to shut down and get really impatient, then I would realize this and feel so guilty because I know this is just as much of an adjustment to my kids as it is me. They don't even have their mom anymore because I am running all over the place. Then this week Jameson started kindergarten (I will write about that one on another post) and that was so sad!! Of course I got even more emotional than what I have been. Then Chanel went back to summer school and she has to be there by 9 am and I cant get my crap together by that time for the life of me. Then she started dance today. I barely made it there on time ( I forgot for the hundredth time) and I walk in and notice that she was the ONLY one without tap shoes and ballet shoes!!! That's about the time that I decided that I have completely failed at being a mother of 4. I felt awful, I walked out of there completely low! So I figured I will run to the dance store place and buy her some. I get to the mall and unload Jameson, Ava and Rori Ana and realize I DON'T HAVE MY STROLLER!!! I was determined to get those damn shoes for Chanel so I put Ava in her sling, put Rori on my hip and had James by the hand. I did it, I got the shoes and come walking out feeling a little better that I didn't let the stroller thing stop me when I notice that my car doors are open??!!! I knew I hadn't gone crazy enough to do that!! I guess with the whole stroller thing going on I forgot to lock my doors to my car. Someone had started to break into my car!!! By some miracle NOTHING was missing!!! At first when I saw it I wanted to give up right there and just sit in the middle of the parking lot and just wait for someone to come scrape me up off the ground. I had the attitude like it couldn't get much worse than this!! Then I realized that it very well could have!! Someone must have scared whoever did this off or something because not 1 thing was gone. Nothing. I could have had everything missing or even worse had no car!! I think it was God letting me know that I need to stop my bitching and be grateful for all my blessings. My kids' mother may be a little scatter brained and not really with it mentally right now and they may not eat 3 solid healthy meals a day and my house is a total wreck and my schedule a bit of a mess but, we are all healthy and still together. Yes, things are a little hectic right now and I don't have time to wipe my own butt because I too busy wiping everyone elses. But, I think in time when I am used to every ones schedules and get it together it might get a little easier? I just need to keep on keepin on... Right??!


By the way... My computer isn't working right so I cant post any pictures. I will try to get Jameson's first day of school, Chanel's dance and Ava's first week pictures up soon.