Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Wowi Nana!! PLEASE!!??

(Wowi Nana is what Chanel calls Rori Ana)
Alright... Rori Ana has got me running in circles like a crazed person right now, and she has for the last month or so. I think she is having a REALLY hard time adjusting to the new baby or something? It could be a little bit of that and just her coming into her terrible 2s a little early?? I haven't noticed any more teeth coming in or trying to, she already got her molars in?? Hell... I don't know!! Let me explain.... She hates me right now. Before the baby all she wanted was mommy, I would just have to look at her and she would light up! Every time it would melt my heart. She would cuddle for hours on end. She wanted to show me everything, play all the time, laugh at anything I did. She was 100% attached to me, all day, everyday. I knew having a baby would change things, like I wouldn't be able to jump when she said jump but, never did I imagine it being this hard. I always heard parents saying their kids were "having a hard time adjusting to the new baby" and I always kind of thought it couldn't be that bad. Its in the parents head or its just that they are having a hard time adjusting to more kids. I take that back!! Rori Ana wont even look at me unless its to give me a dirty look. She wont come to me unless its to hit, scratch, bite or yell at me. If I ask her to come she runs the opposite direction. If she wants something she will come and yell and scream until I figure it out then she just grabs whatever it is and walks off like she is saying "finally, you stupid". She WILL NOT cuddle with me, when I force her to sit with me or if I do pick her up and its not on her terms she screams and pinches etc. And its not just me either, she hates me worse but, she is mean to her sibling too! She hits and kicks Jameson all the time. She is constantly pulling Chanel's hair or pinching her and she has gotten in a few slaps on Ava!! I have to keep Ava OUT OF HER REACH!! I don't dare see what happens if I leave her with Rori!!?? I have gone above and beyond out of my way to give her extra attention. She is getting more attention than anyone else by far! I tried catering to her every whim and I also tried just ignoring it, the screaming and the tantrums. I feel like I am walking on eggshells when shes around! All day I hear whining and screaming coming from her. I don't think I am spoiling her, I have never really been that kind of mother. I KNOW shes not neglected. I am lost. I find that I have started to avoid her now, when she comes around I don't want to look at her because she will get mad at me?! She will start screaming! I try to hold her only to get my ass kicked by a 1 year old (she has literally drawn blood). I feel so awful and guilty for this. In now way to I regret Ava or anything like that but, it makes me wonder if I should have waited a while longer. Did I take Rori's baby life away? Did I make her grow up too fast? How do I fix it??!! Its only been a month or so but I cant continue on. Not only is it driving me completely insane but it is breaking my heart!! I miss my always happy, smiling, laughing, playful little Rori. I used to love waking up and running in her room, we all did. Now she wakes up screaming and demanding and yelling at everyone. I walk in there every morning hoping today would be a better day smiling and singing to her only to be completely shut down by her throwing a total tantrum?? Why? She literally has me in tears everyday because I am so sad to see her this way and because I don't know how to make it better for her. And just to make it worse... I decided I should wean her from her bottle yesterday because I wanted to do it before it got to hard for her to see Ava having her bottles. Right now I will sneak away to feed Ava or if I have to I will prop up the bottle so Rori doesn't see me giving a bottle to Ava and not her. She really hates me now. That was all she had left of her babyhood and I took that away too. If I was smart I would have done it before Ava arrived. But, I didn't and now I am paying for it. She is screaming even worse now. She will not go to bed with out screaming for at least an hour. She is relentless!! So here is my question.... Has anyone ever had this? How do I make her happy again? I feel like I have tried everything but, still she hates me. Do I just wait for it to pass? I am about to take her to a psychiatrist (even though she cant talk). And should I take her bottles away?? I don't want her to be 2 years old with a bottle in her mouth, all the rest of my babies got off of it by 1. Do I just let her scream it out? What am I doing wrong? Any advise would be greatly appreciated!!!!

2 comments:

Mommy Madness said...

Tough situation! I'm not sure there is a definite solution to this, but the first thing that comes to mind is to pray! I used to get a little frustrated when my mom suggested that as the solution to all my problems (I wanted an immediate solution), but I'm learning as a mother it really is the only way to at least calm me down. When my girls are having a hard day, I also like to play some classical music while we play or clean. It seems to mellow us a bit. GOOD LUCK!!

bella utahan said...

I am sorry to hear that Rori is having a hard time. You are a great mom and although I don't have advice for you I know that you are doing the best you can!