Adios NICU!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT! WERE OUTTA THERE!!!!

Just kidding, I couldn't say enough about the nurses and doctors at the NICU. They were so friendly, helpful and comforting. It was so hard for me to walk in and see my baby (pretty much for the first time) hooked up to IVs, tubes, monitors etc. etc. I just bursted into tears and they were so helpful. They taught me what every tube was, how everything worked and why she needed it for what. By the time I left I knew what every # on the screen was, how to "hook her back up" how to replace things when they were pulled on etc. It was all so educational!! And after seeing some of the other babies there I felt so blessed that my baby was doing as well as she was. I had the pleasure of meeting some of the other poor mothers and fathers there and hearing how long some of them had been there or how their babies were doing made my heart break. When we finally left it was almost a bitter sweet feeling, I was so very happy and excited to take her home but when you are walking past all the other parents in there or seeing all the other babies in their little cribs knowing that it would be a while before they would leave made me feel so sad. I saw the faces on the parents as we walked out like they were thinking oooohh, no fair. They get to leave?! I felt like waiting for them!! But at the same time I wanted to RUN!! As fast as I can and be home with my kids and family!! It had been such a long, long week and I wanted nothing more than to bring a healthy baby HOME!! I wanted her to begin her new life with her family. That week was the longest week ever and yet it was all such a blur!! I feel like there are some big black holes missing and I cant for the life of me remember it all straight. I think I was so emotionally and physically exhausted. It all started around 1:30 July 15 when I left lunch with my sister in law Kristi. I got in the car and wasn't feeling "right" I though maybe I ate too much so off to the post office I went. By the time I got there I had a feeling that this wasn't just a full stomach or anything like that. I called Rory and told him I wasn't feeling too good and I was going home to lay down for a while. I also asked him his schedule for that day to make sure he would be close by. By about 3 pm I called him and asked him to come home because I thought I was in labor. When he RAN in the door he asked if I was sure, as I was telling him that I wasn't and maybe I should lay back down my fears were confirmed. My water broke. Off to the hospital we went and by 9 pm that evening Ava was here!! I got to hold her for 30 seconds literally before she was taken into the NICU. That night around midnight I finally got to see her and hold her. She was so small and beautiful but at the same time she looked like a lab rat to me!!! I couldn't even move or I might pull on a cord or something. I couldn't even talk to her because I was just crying. I felt awful, nothing like this has ever happened to any of my babies and now I have a whole new respect for people that have. Ava wasn't even as bad as most of the babies there. I only got to stay with her for about 30 minutes when my nurse told me I needed to lay down because of my own health. By about 4:30 am I was off to the NICU again! I couldn't stand it!! Knowing my baby was there without her mommy or anyone she knew and not knowing how she was or if she needed anything. I was a complete MESS!! Tuesday I got discharged and they told me to go home. There was no way in HELL I was leaving so they were nice enough to let me stay in one of their "hotel rooms". I was able to spend all day and night there with Ava. Wednesday we didn't get a room because it was needed by other parents so we decided we would leave about midnight and get back in the morning. By the time I got back she seemed worse!! She had a feeding tube put in and more monitors and lights so I vowed right then NOT TO LEAVE AGAIN!! Rory went home and got his camper to sleep in but, I only slept for about an hour in it before running across the parking lot (I'm sure people thought I had escaped from a crazy house somewhere) back in to be with Ava. I just slept on the chair they had there in the room. I stayed with her 24/7 after that. I watched as the tubes slowly came out each day, the IVs taken out and the monitors and lights were slowly taken off until FINALLY on Monday the 20th we were given the "Ok" by the doctors to leave. And believe me it wasn't without a fight! I had to talk to a few people (more like argue) to get to leave. Sooooo here we are!! Home sweet home!! Ava is doing wonderful. She is very small but at least she isn't losing weight anymore. She weigh 5 lbs 3 oz right now and she is slowly gaining. She isn't a very good eater, it takes me about an hour and a half to feed her and I'm making her eat every 2-3 hrs. It is so tiring but worth it!! She is such an angel!! Her jaundice is not going away as fast as we would like so we may have to bring home some lights? We wont know for sure until this evening. I have had to take her to the doctor everyday to get checked and poked. Her precious little feet are hamburger at this point. But she is strong and getting better everyday. We love her so much and are so happy to have her with us. Thank you to all our family and friends for your thoughts and prayers!! We love you all and cant wait for you to meet her!!

This is last night. She got her first bath at HOME!!!

I tried to get a picture of her hair...